The Muse Beckons..!!
Its not Calliope
Maybe its Euterpe
or even Melpomene
Terpsichore is busy at the moment
Erato, the muse of love?
Polyhymnia the song muse? but this is a writing blog.
Urania is astrology based.
Thalia, but then again it isn’t poetry
Who could it be?
Its of course Windsoar the muse of the blog, settling over at the Jaded alt and pumping out enlightment to all the Bloggers out there who have congratulated her for her Six month blogging anniversary (6 months :0..).
I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate her also on her success, her amazing posts and hope that she continues to inspire.
So this Goddess blessed me with her infinite knowledge and set me a task. This is what she come up with:
You may be a mage summoning portals and strudel from thin air, but do think all that translocation is healthy? I mean, shouldn’t that strudel be toxic or something? Explain why I should eat your strudel or step through your portal and expect to be reasonably sized on the other side.*
I am going to answer this question with a little pazzang..!! (If thats even a word).
Mages are a powerful asset to anyone, we have plenty of utility when it comes to assisting others and their needs.
I remember once upon a time when i was but an apprentice in the long road of becoming a Mage. Wanting to become as strong as Khadgar Himself.
So off i went to the “Dalaran College of the Mage Arts” to pursue my destiny.
The Dalaran Mages have very high standards i will have you know, the exams where ludicrously hard, but i stuck through it , and now look at me…all imposing and stuff.
There where two classes that bothered me and caused alot of hassle, those sinister modules where Conjuration and Teleportation. I was completely hopeless when it came to it and the theory sucked. There was one positive to them though and that was the practicals, i wanted to learn.
Dabbling in the magic arts did not protect you from its dangers nevertheless.
The teleporting class started as a disaster, it required a great deal of concentration and will to even teleport myself to the room next door. It is by far the most dangerous stunt to do, i remember my first one…Vividly.
My Proffessor asked me to teleport myself to the other side of the grand lecture theater, it was a test to measure competence and to see my standing level.
So i stood up, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I mumbled the words of power that i learnt off by heart a few days before and felt my body lighten almost immediately only to be back to its heavy feel again. Keeping my eyes closed i could hear the rest of the apprentices sniggering, that was the queue for me to mutter to myself *Stupid Archaius, you messed up again*.
I opened my eyes and looked around me, i was on the other side of the room. A cheer escaped me,
*i did it, i did it*
Then i tried to move, I looked down and to my horror and shock of what i saw made me let out a cry of despair and passed out.
Turns out i teleported straight into the desk, the bottom half of my body melded with the framework. If it wasn’t for the esteemed Mages of Dalaran working their magic in sepertaing me from the Stationary furniture i would be known untill now as:
Archaius Desklegs *Shudder*
Needless to say i exercised my methods day in and day out, time after time and managed to pass the module with flying colours. Im a complete pro now, *Looks Away*.
The portal buisness, was alot easier once the teleportation sequence was taught, all you had to do was think of the destination and say the words, at the final sentence make a tearing motion with your hand in the air to *cut* reality and open the portal. See? easy peasy. That reminds me, Lorena my friend used a portal from me when i was experimenting with my portals, i wonder where she might be.
So the answer to your first section my muse is this, translocation is healthy , if you can master it, very exausting sometimes so i refrain from using it often.
Onwards to the culinary class.
You need to be a top Culinary Mage to make *gasp* “The Studel”. Only a select few have gained the ability to master it. I must admit it took me a while to get the hang of it too.
A series of practical tests where required to pass this one and if you are going by with what i said previously, you know what is to come.
The first test was to conjure a perfectly formed muffin. Bouncy, puffy and full of taste.
What did is produce?
Something that resembled soup in a cup.
Three days of consecutive training i made the magic happen *No pun intended*.
The second test was to conjure a loaf of bread. It needed to be aromatic, moist and hot. That was easy, after all i got the hang of it right?
It happened when the bakery put up its fresh bread on for sale, the smell wafted through the air and into my nostrils. Due to the deep craving that i had at the time one just happened to appear in my hands.
Okay Okay….dont pressure me….i stole it……:S
But i produced another one shortly afterwards….i was hungray….!!
But this method is what helped me sail throught the rest of the tests. Imagine the food, picture it, the smell and the texture and *POOF*, there they where, materialized, real.
Then came the time of the Strudel, the pinaccle of my graduation as a culinary mage. I had to get it right, i shouldn’t fail.
The test was complex, it required many levels in creating the perfect strudel. The pastry in one hand, the jam in the other and of course the final process of merging them together in the final object. Very complex indeed.
The critic sampling the strudel was no other than Rhonin himself, i was such in awe at his appearance i started getting nervous.
All in all the Mages that where to graduate where fifteen, we stood in a line and conjured or strudels. Different varieties existed, Apple, strawberry, orange *Blurgh* and mine…..Grape!! *MMMM*
Rhonin went by…one by one he took a bite out of each Mage’s Strudel making grimaces that i couldn’t discern. Nice, bad, hideous? I could not tell.
It was my Turn *Gulp*
Rhonin Picked up a slice and placed it in his mouth after looking at it with……desire?
His eyes brightened as if he ate the foods of the gods, but it wasnt an expression of bliss…..He was choking!!
It dawned on me that i would never graduate, i would remain an apprentice for the rest of my life, that or become a Warlock, failure either way.
The results where in and i was not interested in the least, i knew i stood no chance.
-Strong competition was shown to us today by our apprentice Mages, out of the possible fifteen i am afraid only two will graduate this year from our academy. The rest need to stay and hone their skills.
*Rhonin was sooo harsh*
Graduating in second place this year is ……Garry Lotter *get it?*, congratulations!!
-First Prize goes to… Archaius…..well done, the Grape was an excellent touch to bring out the taste of the pastry, i have never felt so alive eating it.
My eyes lit up and was overwhelmed with joy, i graduated from Mage Academy and i was officially a Dalaran Mage.
That is the Story on how i made my Strudel. We had to go through that so that i could answer my muse’s question of course, im no self loathing mage you know, I do have a point to make.
I live off Strudel, it saves me alot of gold in the process, its not toxic and im living proof at how healthy it makes you ….*Flex*.
It fills you up and goes down a treat at parties, the only downside that i could think is that you could quite possibly get addicted to it. It is fat free, i conjure it that way you see, and it never spoils. It Dissapears in 15 minutes (I timed it), and if we run out I make more.
Thats why you should eat my Strudel. Its super Yummy, Rhonin approved and its….GRAPE FLAVOUR..!!
As for my portals dear muse, you can expect to reach the other side as a whole peice. I didnt spend all this time in Dalaran Academy to do half finished buisness I will have you know. Im no engineer that uses unpredictable wormholes. Portals are the original thing and wormholes are lets say the replica of a well tailored designer bag.
So if you want to be always full and content, without the excess weight hassle, be at the latest festival at any of the major cities i would strongly recommend becoming friends with a mage!!
Im offering….Be my friend…..Please???